How to tell if you are a Democrat, Republican or Southerner:

Are you a DEMOCRAT, a REPUBLICAN, or aSOUTHERNER?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be fond by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted streetwith your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terroristwith a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY NOW!




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DEMOCRAT'S Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done any thing to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we runaway? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?"? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
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REPUBLICAN'S Answer:
BANG!
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SOUTHERNER'S Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! Click.
what ??....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You ain't taking THAT to the Taxidermist