Mamabear's Den

Still His little girl

2009-07-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

In the midst of a tear-filled afternoon one spring day, my friend Elayne gave me the most wonderful picture of God: A business man, sitting in a meeting, when his little girl runs in. He puts up his hand, halting all the important matters being addressed, and patting his knee, says "Come here, baby, what do you need?" Our God is always ready to listen, nothing is too small or too big, and when we come running to Him, we can know that whatever we are carrying, it's a priority to Him. How amazing is that?! I am important to HIM, the Creator of the Universe, the same God that gave Moses the 10 commandments, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the One who delivered Daniel and comforted Job, knows ME, loves me, has a plan for me. He is always ready with a hug, or to hold me for awhile til the aching goes away.
A bruised knee or a broken heart, He is always ready to comfort, always knows exactly what we need for our wounds to be healed.
When our spirit is completely crushed, the blinding pain overwhelms us, and all we can do is crumple to the ground and sob in despair, He picks us up, sets us back on our feet, and says "Don't give up now! Trust me. There is always hope in me! Here's my strength, lean on me,,,there you go."
Sometimes He doesn't remove instantly what is hurting us so badly, because He knows we need it to grow, but His kiss can always ease the pain.
My Papa God says to me: "I know it hurts. It hurts me to see you in so much pain! It's never easy to change, and you are becoming the woman I planned for you to be, but you still will always be my little girl." I can climb into His lap and He wraps me up in His strong arms where I feel so safe and warm. He rocks me gently, holding my head against his big shoulder, and whispers,,, "It'll be ok."
--Tracey Miller

"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders." Deuteronomy 33:12

New Life

2009-05-26T23:43:00.000-07:00

Looking out my bedroom window this morning, I spotted the first tiny, fresh, green leaves of spring misting over bare, brown branches. What a welcome sight after the long, dark, Alaskan winter. Sometimes it seems that winter here just will never end…but it finally does, sometimes earlier, sometimes later, but spring always comes!
Everything looks dead, cold, and hopeless as the far north’s endless night stretches on, but gradually the short hours of sunless light lengthen and then as the sun’s weak warmth grows stronger and brighter, one day those new baby leaves appear, spreading a soft feathering of green over the bare branches ,and our hope turns into reality and reality into joy.
Those branches that seemed so lifeless, the hard, frozen ground that held no evidence of any life at all, out of those very things, with the sun’s warmth, come new living foliage…fresh, vibrant, green and growing.
The old dry leaves and grass are gone and brand new ones spring forth from the old roots. There was no evidence of it, but underneath the surface, in the cold deadness of winter, they were still alive. All they needed was the warmth of the sun to bring out that new life.
That brown, dry, wrinkled spring bulb has to go through a time of cold and darkness, before it can again become the new springs blooms, which are always the brightest and most colorful of all. They look so empty, devoid of any life, colorless and hopeless….but somewhere inside there is still a tiny spark of life.
Seasons of winter come to all of our lives, some darker and colder than others. The icy winds of fear, grief, pain, loneliness and disappointment howl over us, swirling a heavy blanket of utter despair around us that shrouds our hearts in its frozen grip, numbing our hopes for the future, and paralyzing us with an emptying intensity.
But inside our hearts, under the pressing, frozen weight of ice and snow, there is still that small spark, just a flicker of life that He has covered with his protecting hand. He, himself, allows this season to encompass us, because He knows we need it, to grow into the beauty He plans for us.
Finally, when He knows this season’s growth is sufficient, and can no longer bear to see us in such pain, with tender mercy and grace, He gently cups the almost imperceptible flicker, and just breathes over it. The dying embers glow with new hope. A warm spring breeze lightly dances over the barren landscape, spreading that hope to the farthest reaches of our soul.
The Son’s warm rays penetrate through the ground, melting the snow, bringing water and warmth. The tiny spark grows, breaking through the ground into the light, and finally bursting into full bloom. Spring’s promise has overtaken the empty death of winter and replaced it with newness, life and irrepressible joy! With breath-taking color and intricate detail, it blossoms back into the bright greenness of new life, becoming something delightfully refreshing and infinitely beautiful.
May 8, 2009

Flashback: Denali Camping

2008-11-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

I wasn't able to do anything on here this summer, but I would still like to share some of the pix from things we did. It was a really insane summer! I guess I should have started with our trip home in April and May,, but I just resized the pix for this camping trip, so thats the one you're getting first. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it. ;-)
This was our first camp of the season and it was a blast. We had the rare treat of seeing a mama brown bear and two cubs by the Savage River Bridge. Its not often that you get to see brown bears this close to the park entrance. We saw some moose and a few caribou and that was about it for this trip. Ask Jerry about the camp robber (may he rest in peace).

Baby Moose

Can you find the bears??

My Mattster

I love this pic of JerBear! what a hottie! ;-) lol

Coffee is ALWAYS on...

Somethin's really funny!!

..she finally caught him!!

Stevo expounds on the technical efficiencies of the coffee pot. (He never shuts up.)

My best bud, Dani :-)

"He alternated between two expressions: thoughtful...

...and bemused" :-) (Pat McManus!!)

My favorite pic!

Miss Addy

They live on marshmallows....

...the goofy twins...

1/25th SBCT Deployment '08/'09

2008-10-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

Steve left for Iraq a month ago and will be gone a year. He is at FOB Normandy. Please pray for him, his safety and well-being, that the time will go quickly, and for all our troops in the Middle East. Thankyou!

My soldier

2008-07-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

I love this pic of Sergeant First Class Miller :-) and wanted to share it with you guys! It was taken a few days ago in the Mojave Desert, California. Everyone please pray that his return flight date gets moved up,, we really need him here to get ready for the wedding and family coming,,,and he sorta would like to come home, and I MISS HIM!! :-D

Ok Ok!

2008-07-12T17:01:00.001-07:00

I knew this summer would be insane, but if really would have had any idea I would have jumped out of the plane on the way home from Michigan. :-) My sincerest apologies to everyone who checks this regularly and is sick and tired of seeing me holding a gun. Kaitlin,, thankyou lovey for that gentle reminder. I haven't seen any recent updates in yours, so I dont' want to hear it! :-)

Here's my favorite pic from vacation.. hopefully I can get more of these up soon.

Steve is in Cali for the month,, at Fort Irwin for NTC (training for the brigades upcoming deployment to Iraq) Please keep him in your prayers as he is having trouble getting internet connections and time in which to do his actual job. Also, its pretty dang hot there, this time of year, up to 125F. Fort Irwin is located in the Mojave Desert. It was out last duty station before PCSing to Alaska.

Huns with guns

2008-05-30T16:46:00.000-07:00

We're baaack!! We've finally returned from our looong trip home and we are determined to have fun this summer,, even though its going to one crazy season!! So if you're thinking about getting in our way,, think again!! We are BAD to the BONE! (Scared, aren't ya?! :-D )

Some much-loved Hoosiers visit....

2008-04-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

It was so awesome to get to spend some time with the Sankeys a couple weeks ago. They came up for IHC services at our church here--North Pole Missionary Chapel. It was a little surreal to see and hear that familiar face and voice preaching, but in a log church in the far north instead of home in Indiana! :-) The school kids really enjoyed the special morning services,, especially the Dove chocolates! ha

We even got to share some Doritoes, cottage cheese and Pepsi. (all requisite Sankey lunch items). Mom was very happy to see them,, she is the oldest living member of FMC, where they have pastored for many many moons. Stephen was only two last time we were home, so he didn't really remember much, but they made fast friends and he even convinced Papaw to try a little Wii batting practice,,,I'll never forgive myself for not capturing that illustrious moment on film,, but we won't forget it regardless... :-D

Lyssa learns to fly

2008-04-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why this is so funny, but we have watched it over and over and just howled.

The kids found this little slope behind the big hill we usually go on. Its shorter, but MUCH steeper and has the little bank at the bottom that shoots them up in the air and they land in the road on the other side. Danielle tried it but she didn't look quite as graceful. :-D

Winter Ball

2008-03-17T02:02:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright,, here's the pics of Lord and Lady Dinglethorpe before the 3-21 1/25 SBCT 2008 Winter Ball. These things are SO not me. Can you see my excited face? NOT :-)

More celebrating...

2008-03-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

Friday, Kate celebrated some more with a sleepover with 5 of her friends. They are a great bunch of girls! They had a blast and even included the little sis and two little brothers in the fun.
The next day we followed up with sledding over on the flood dike with some more friends and then cake and ice cream back at the house. I think at one point we had 16 kids in the house!

The sleepover crew:

After sledding:

Kate's "big bro", Thomas, with Stephen

Her other big brother, Daron

Ok, this sled is SCARY fast!!!

Kaitlin turns 15!

2008-03-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

15 years ago we were holding our first baby, a dark-haired chubby little princess, Kaitlin Rachelle. She was 8 lbs of cuteness!! She's still cute, but a little taller now, kind of blond, and not chubby at all! :-) This year she chose Chili's for her birthday supper. She got her new camera there, (pink, of course) and we had fun! Stephen slept thru dinner and was NOT happy when he woke up in the car, going home! ha

How to tell if you are a Democrat, Republican or Southerner:

2008-03-03T11:53:00.000-08:00

Are you a DEMOCRAT, a REPUBLICAN, or aSOUTHERNER?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be fond by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted streetwith your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terroristwith a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY NOW!

---------------------------------------------------
DEMOCRAT'S Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done any thing to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we runaway? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?"? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
REPUBLICAN'S Answer:
BANG!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOUTHERNER'S Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! Click.
what ??....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You ain't taking THAT to the Taxidermist

Indoor Picnic!

2008-02-27T00:41:00.000-08:00

It was so warm last week that it put us in the mood for a picnic! It actually got into the 40s, which is really weird for Alaska in February, but thats still a tad chilly to be eating outside, so we opted for an indoor picnic. Daddy grilled hotdogs for us, and we found a campfire, a tree and a blanket. Mommaw always has a stash of cookies, so she brought dessert. It was lots of fun,, but I can't wait for a REAL one at Spring Mill in a couple months!!!

We even saw some "wildlife".. a panther crouched above us:

A big brown bear tried to steal some treats:

We even had a visit from a rare and unusual species,,Pam Walker!!

When moose fly....

2008-02-14T00:22:00.000-08:00

The following article is from our local newpaper "The Fairbanks Newsminer".

Falling moose nearly smashes Alaska State Trooper car

ANCHORAGE — Alaska State Troopers see plenty of hazards, but Trooper Howard Peterson was nearly felled by a new one: a falling moose.
Peterson was driving Feb. 2 on the Seward Highway south of Anchorage when something big and black fell out of the sky about 20 feet in front of his patrol car.
“Falling rock!” he thought, ready to steer clear if it bounced onto the highway.
The thing didn’t roll or shatter. It turned out to be a moose that fell from cliffs next to the highway.
Drivers often see Dall sheep on the cliffs but rarely moose. Peterson estimates the animal fell 150 feet or more.
It was windy that night, Peterson said, and a gust may have startled the moose into a fatal fall.
“They occasionally have bad days like the rest of us,” wildlife biologist Rick Sinnott said. “They slip and fall. Maybe he was reaching for a branch and the snow just gave way.”
Sinnott has heard or moose dying in strange ways — breaking through ice and drowning, jumping off railroad bridges at the sound of a train, falling off small banks. Once he saw the remains of two bulls that died during a rutting battle when their antlers got hooked together by a single piece of barbed wire.
A fall off a cliff probably doesn’t happen often, he said.
Peterson treated the dead animal the same way he handles moose killed by cars. After snapping photos, Peterson called one of the charities that salvage road kill

*******************************************

Ok, can you imagine the troopers view of this?? You all are most likely aware of my general thoughts and feelings on wildlife (Can I hear a big "CROCS RULE" :-) ...you just hush Andrew!) but I have to say my sympathy for the moose is really being threatened by the humor in the mental pictures that fly unbidden to my brain! :-D

Note the surmisings of the wildlife biologist: "Maybe he was reaching for a branch and the snow just gave way."

Really?

.....or maybe he was playing truth or dare with all the other teenage moose and he made a really bad decision to go with "dare"!

....or MAYBE he was just a really stupid moose. HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!! :-D

(Seriously,, have you ever seen an intelligent looking moose?? I'm just sayin'....!!) :-D

Superbowl: Football, food, fellowship

2008-02-11T12:26:00.001-08:00

I'm really late with this post, but still wanted to share the pix. After church last sunday, we gathered at Mark Walkers house for some Superbowl fun. We had a blast! All three Walker brothers and families were there, plus Sniders and us and two other couples that I don't know well,,,a total of (I think) 32 people! The food was AMAZING and enough for twice as many people! For those that just didn't get the fascination with football :-) there was a game group in the dining room. We played Apples to Apples and Trivial Pursuit. Playing Trivial Pursuit with Alisa and Pam is pretty much pointless for everyone else, but we still had fun. Deb has two litters of Dachshund puppies that were about 4 weeks old at that point and they were quite popular as well!

Michael Walker, Pam Walker, Kaitlin Miller and Brian Walker invade the food line!

Steve, Pam and Kaitlin
Steve and Mark Walker itching for the game to start

Dr. Enlow and Pat WalkerOur best buds, Jerry and Danyielle Snider

Alyssa and her best friend, Mikayla Walker (Mark and Deb's youngest daughter)

Pam Walker,, this is Jonathan's girlfriend (Steve's brother) Yes, she is just as sweet as she looks and then some! :-D

Stevo making a VERY serious food decision

Part of the football fans..

...and part of the games crowd

Me and the biggest puppy,, he is a whopper! lol

Stephen and Sage loving a puppyAwwww!!Nothin' better than puppy kisses! :-)

When North Pole freezes over...

2008-02-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

Well after all my laughing at and making fun of others on myholiness.com, here I am sitting at home with all my kids, because its TOO COLD to go out anywhere today!! Schools were still in session, believe it or not, but to me,, to go ANYwhere when its 46 below, ice fog and drizzle, is INSANE. I would also love to know,, how do you get DRIZZLE when its 78 degrees below freezing??? It should be illegal to live here. ,,and for all of you who are running to comment right now,, no, I did NOT choose to live here, so I dont' want to hear it! :-D Home is where the Army sends us, I had nothing to do with it! I was quite happy in sunny California where its probably about 65 or 70 right now.

Flashback Friday: Halibut fishing in Prince William Sound

2008-02-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

We have so many great memories and pictures from this past year, so I have decided to dedicate each Friday to going back and highlighting a special time from 2007. We'll start out with Steve's 1st halibut fishing trip. For the uninitiated, halibut is mild, firm-fleshed, DELICIOUS saltwater fish. It is a really weird looking fish, which lies flat on the ocean floor with both eyes on one side of its head. They range in size from "chickens" weighing up to 3o or 40 lbs and giants that can be 300 and 400 lbs. On this trip, the guys didn't catch in big ones,, but they did get enough to freeze and enjoy throughout the winter.

On the way down, they stopped at a freshwater lake and threw a few lines in. It was still May so there was a little snow and ice left laying around in some areas.

Dave Tate, Jerry Snider and Steve on the charter boat:

A very small halibut, but still great eating!!Steve's trophy lingcod, which had to be thrown back because it was out of season! This was really disappointing as it was a BIG lingcod and just as good to eat as halibut.

On the way home, the boys stopped for a little snow fun. Steve gets ready for the big run:

...and an undignified finish... ;-)

Mommaw

2008-01-26T12:39:00.000-08:00

For everyone who has asked about my mom,, she's doing great and seems to be very happy and content to be here with us. She loves the summers here as much as she hates the winters! She's been with us for (I think) 6 years now, and we are very blessed and priviliged to have her. She is a joy!

Here's a couple of recent pix:

Snow fun and a big booboo

2008-01-21T23:48:00.000-08:00

We've had warmer than normal temperatures the past week,, even up in the 20s! Thats quite balmy for North Pole in January, so the kids took advantage of it with some fun in the snow. Matthew and Dad shoveled a track on the back deck for our little Nascar driver, and he made his rounds, most of the time picking his car up and carrying it, since the track was a wee bit too narrow. :-) Another day we went sledding over on the Chena Lakes Flood dike, a popular sledding and snowmachining spot. Steve, Matthew and Stephen had a blast with Danielle and her three girls,, but Lys,, not so much! For her first (and only) run she decided the regular slope wasn't quite steep enough and went off the side of the dike. It's almost straight up and down and she found some nice sharp rocks at the bottom to cushion her fall! We are very fortunate that she wasn't hurt alot worse, but regardless, I don't think she considered the stitches in her knee anything to be thankful for. :-) She has an almost 2 inch cut on her left knee, which went thru all the skin and tissues, all the way down to the muscle! After our adventure last month with her broken foot (she dropped a tv on it) we are really learning our way around the new hospital on Fort Wainwright! The medics there are great and really kind and patient with the kids. This is pretty amazing considering many of them just returned from months in Iraq, dealing with much more than we can even imagine. Here are a few pix from the back deck, sledding and the ER.

Danyielle and Sage

Steve and Stephen
Matthew and Haley
Alyssa's knee,, gross, huh? :-)
Five big ones,,,count 'em
Lys's favorite medic...he kept us in stitches!! hahaha,,,sorry :-)
Lys's ER trip from last month,, broken bone in her foot..

2008-01-14T01:02:00.000-08:00

Here's more pix from Stephen's birthday

Thanks Nanna!!

Thanks Mommaw!

Dad does need practice... ;-)

Wonder what he's thinking...

There's more fish in the sea, guys...

The caboose baby's 4th birthday!

2008-01-14T00:15:00.000-08:00

Our little guy turned 4 last Sunday. We had a little party at home for him, complete with ice cream cake and balloons. He loved being the star of the show! Being our baby, its very hard not to let the gift thing get out of hand, so I think he is slightly spoiled, but within reason! :-) Having Christmas and then a birthday just a few days later rather goes to one's head, I think. I'm not sure how he is going to handle returning to normal life,, but with all the toys I think he'll manage. He LOVES the golf set, and putts like a pro. The swing is a little wild at times,, especially for in the house. The cats have learned to clear the room when he heads for his clubs!

He loves all the playmobil too. Ok, fine,,,, Steve and I love the playmobil,, the kids are just a convenient excuse to buy more! I will say though, its beginning to affect my emotional health: I have "issues" with not losing parts to toy sets,, and when you consider some of this stuff is the size of a fingernail,, well,, I'm going to have to relax at some point here and realize that if the 2 inch doll is missing its flipflops, the world WILL in fact continue to turn on its axis, and its even possible that our household will still function normally.

(If they aren't found by tomorrow though, nobody eats. I'll fix supper as soon as I see little blue flipflops!!!)

Awww!

2008-01-05T02:58:00.000-08:00

About 2 am Thursday morning, I had one of those sweet moments that you never forget! Sage, my friend Danyielle's youngest and Stephen's best girl, was spending the night (or trying to anyways). As "the hour grew late", she had asked for "Mommy" a couple times, but was easily distracted. After several episodes of Little Bear, and many moves from the big easy chair to the couch and back again, she finally let me rock her to sleep. As soon as I laid her down in the bunk beds though, she woke up and began crying in earnest. I want my Mommy!! I want my MOMMY! I hugged, patted an reassured to the best of my abilities, but she wasn't buying any of it! Then, as I continued to soothe, patting her little bottom, I quietly said, "It's ok, It's ok, I'm here,,,I'm here, Sage", with more heart-breaking sobs, she wailed, "But I want my OTHER mommy!!" :-) She's totally won my heart!!! (as if she hadn't already)

Here are a few more pics of "the twins": Back-deck parade, camping, 4wheelin', and at the beach. They are pretty much inseperable and get along extremely well for "almost 4 yr. olds". Stephen says: "I love her! She's MINE!!" :-)

HALFTIME!!!!

2008-01-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

Hello, friends and family! I'm hoping this blog will help keep all of you updated on what is going on with the Millers here in the far north. It seems like a good alternative to clogging your inbox periodically with 3000mg pics! Most of you are well aware of my love affair with my camera! :-)

It may also, from time to time, contain some general musings and rambles about life from my view here on top of the world. Good luck sifting through and gleaning what you want!

Well, we are halfway through another LOOOONG Alaska winter and its about this time of year that we all start losing a marble here and there. I was born and raised in southern Indiana (the promised land) and according to my internal calendar, winter has been around for 3 1/2 months now, therefore it's time for spring. Unfortunately it doesn't happen that way here, we are only halfway through. If I could hibernate through the next 3 months, like any good mamabear, I could cope just fine, but no, I'm expected to function as normal. That is usually fairly elusive for me anyways, SO... if you detect a hint of insanity gleaming from my eyes, or a bit of a grumbling growl from time to time here in the den,, its just me, well and fully sick of the dark (about 5 hours of semi-daylight right now) and the cold (around 0F to -50F), and longing for an Indiana spring! :-)

We had a wonderful Christmas! My favorite present is my pool table. We've wanted one for years and finally have enough space for one,,, well, sort of. For some side shots, you have to use the mini-sticks from the little game-table,, but thats ok, its still a blast! I've been letting Stevo win alot,, you know how those male egos are! It has nothing to do with my level of "skill" and his LUCK,,,nothing at all. Whats really funny is he's still trying to insist that we're supposed to "call" the shots,, RIGHT! Like anyone actually knows where the ball is going to go when you hit it! (insert eyeroll here) He's making up rules, as usual.

Steve's favorite present is his leather coat from Sportsmans Warehouse. He does look like "one FINE man" in it,, right Katie B.? :-) I think Kaitlin's fav is her Zune. Alyssa loves her Meerkat stuff, Matt says he likes ALL of his best, and Stephen LOVES his "steering wheel" (lots of button, lights and noise) and his playmobil Noah's Ark. Mommaw just liked watching the kids open all of theirs,, though I do think she's kind of partial to her "Where Jesus Walked" book.
We put all the 5000 pieces of all the toys together, played with them, had our usual ham and potato salad (it FINALLY tasted just like Mom Millers! I have attained the pinnacle of potato salad success!!) and ended up the day with some games with our dear friends, Jerry and Danielle Snider and their three little blondes.

We brought in the new year with the Sniders, and some more friends and family. The fireworks were great! Since it never gets dark enough on the 4th of July up here for fireworks, we enjoy them much more on New years. We all freeze our toes off watching fountains and rockets and doing sparklers ( I think it was about 15 below) but its a blast!
Happy New Year everyone,, I hope 2008 is full of love and happiness for all of you!